Humans are social animals. We like to feel like we belong in a group, and whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not, we care what other people think about us. However, when you look at the most successful people alive today, all of them tell us not to care what others think of us.
It seems like a counterintuitive piece of advice. In essence, that means to give absolutely zero fucks to what anyone thinks about you and do what you feel is right. If you succeed in your goal, then good for you. If you fail miserably, then it’s an opportunity to learn, regroup, see what happened wrong, and do it again. You can click here to read more.
On the other hand, if you care about what everyone thought of you at every moment, then you wouldn’t be able to do anything from the constant anxiety. Not only that, but even the opinions of the people that care about us can be hurting us.
Think of your family, and how they always tell you to go to college, get a stable job, and then you’ll be happy. Everyone knows that this is the way to hating your life, doing something you don’t want to do, and eventually quitting the job you hate.
Why is it useless to care what others think about you?
When you start thinking about what others are thinking of your posture, behavior, appearance, and overall life, you come to realize that it’s a loophole. You’re feeling self-conscious, but so are they. This is one of the most important realizations you can ever come to.
When you realize how much self-conscious the average person is, then your whole world will change. Furthermore, the people who appear confident usually suffer from this feeling even more. That’s because they know how others perceive them, and they must keep the façade.
This is the reason why people spend a ton of time getting ready and picking out what to wear. This is the reason why fit people go to the gym. Everyone wants to be liked. But the sad thing about this desire for approval is that it doesn’t last.
Remember when you got your first job? It felt amazing, you show up to work a few minutes early, and you don’t have a problem staying a bit late. Something finally gives you a sense of importance. However, after a month, all of these feelings change, and then you’re looking forward to a promotion.
When the promotion happens, you feel like you’re on top of the world for a few days, and then the feeling goes away. You can go to zerofucks.com to see how to stop chasing positive feedback. The same thing happens in dating apps. A person texted you back, great, you get all the butterflies flying in your stomach, then you reply, and the cycle never ends.
Our minds are hardwired to release feel-good hormones in our bodies whenever we get positive feedback from our tribe. That’s how our species survived the harshness of nature. But if you depend on getting positive feedback in order to function in the world, then you should know that you’ll always be chasing it. It’s a game that has no end. That’s how you’ll end up wasting your entire life doing things that other people like, and you’ll never pay attention to the things you genuinely want.
What to do instead?
Instead of focusing on what other people think is right, try changing your perspective and focus on what makes you happy. Try to develop habits that you like, and make sure that you don’t give a fuck about what other people think about them.
If you like to practice martial arts, then go and do it. If you want to go into the mountains and yell at the top of your lungs until all your anger goes away, then go and do it. No matter what other people think, or say about you, the real sense of accomplishment comes when you feel proud of yourself.
Think of all the things that make you inherently happy, and set goals to do them more often. When you realize how much of your life has been directed by other people, you’ll feel a sense of true freedom as soon as you stop giving a fuck.