Our twenties are a blur of transitions, transformations, tests and tequila. It’s the period in our lives where we are constantly trying to decipher who we are. As we grow up we are constantly trying to define ourselves, placing ourselves in certain experiences or feelings in hopes to reach a final answer. However, this question is impossible to answer and one that often leaves us feeling lost as we try to keep up with the dynamic human we unfold to be. They say “all who wander are not always lost” but is being lost as rough and tough as the world makes it out to be? Or is it the panic of reaching thirty childless, broke and worst of all single that makes being lost sound worth than death. The dictionary define ‘lost’ as “ being unable to find one’s way or not knowing one’s whereabouts” but is it just that? Or is everyone lost? In fact, the older we get the more we realize that no one has their shit together. This realization is both comforting and scary – knowing that we are not alone but that we will never a definite answer. Our twenties are tough by the are the time for doubt and self-exploration. To be lost is to be free, to be unapologetically, uncontrollably confused. Or as Taylor Swift so amply put it it’s when “you’re happy confused and lonely at the same time and that feeling is miserable as well as magical.”
It’s not about finding ourselves, it’s about creating ourselves. It’s not about full stops or final sentences but what comes before after and in between. It’s the unconventional story of self-creation – of our self-creation. Which consists of that all-consuming unknown feeling that makes our heart feel as if it could fall through our chest. That feeling that makes waking up just as hard as falling asleep. It’s where our dreams collide with reality and the ground falls from under our feet only to present a galaxy of stars that we can eat. It’s the wind in our hair and marshmallows around a campfire. It’s cold lakes at the break of dawn and sand in between our toes. Its soft-serve ice-creams on hot days and art that isn’t hideous. It’s too much sound and not enough silences and way too much silence and not enough sound.
Self-creation is a lot of things but simple and straightforward are not one of them. So, when we’re confronted with inevitable question of who we are, we shouldn’t feel overwhelmed or doubt ourselves and where we are. For tomorrow we will be somewhere different, feel something different be someone different. Change is inevitable, and we should embrace the fragments of our journey, we should relish in each sentence in our own novel for there is no greater story. We need to get lost to get found. However, there is a certain recipe to being lost, one that keeps us sane, breathing and on the brink of discomfort. Here is the formula for getting successfully lost in your twenties.
- Don’t be afraid to walk away from something when it isn’t working; relationships, jobs, situations and friendships. Sometimes it actually takes more courage to quit and life’s too short to be unhappy.
- Take less selfies. There is a whole tangible world outside the one of your front way camera. Spend less time documenting your every move and more time reveling in it. Instagram is not real life.
- You will have heart break and it will feel like the end of the world. It’s not. You will live, and you will love again, and it will bigger and better than the first time.
- Educate yourself. Knowledge is power.
- Dance – while you can. You are young. Be frivolous, make use of your nimble and young strong bones.
- You will grow out of your friends. This is inevitable you will never keep all your friends from high school. Change is important it shows growth don’t be afraid to make new friends, have new experience. Those who are important make sure they stay.
- Read more books. Books are the best gift you can give yourself a healthy escape filled with adventures, love and different worlds. With books you can have and be everything.
- Push through. Have the courage to commit to something you love and fight for it when the going gets tough. Life is filled of obstacles fight through them for the things you love.
- Save money. You don’t just get to thirty and inherit a huge sum of money (although we wish this was the case) to live your best life. You have to work for it and your twenties is the perfect time to do so because you don’t have three ankle biters or responsibilities other than yourself.
- Care less. Care less about what people think about you, your life and your work. Don’t let the opinions of other hinder you from doing the things you want.
- Don’t compare yourself, with the people you see on social media, your friends, your family or your colleagues. Be yourself it’s important.
- Stop overreacting. It’s not the end of the world. You will survive. Leave that high school drama where it belongs. In high school.
- Avoid debt at all costs. Don’t get a credit card. It’s like a disease that’s almost impossible to kill. Don’t live beyond your means be happy with what you have.
- Fall in love carefully. Falling in love is the greatest feeling in the world but it has big implications on your own character development as you can’t help but adopt mannerism, personality traits, ideas and opinions of your partners. Ensure that these things align with your own ideologies because they will change you.
- Have less of a collection of quirks and be of a person. Aim to rather to be the kindest, most empathetic and compassionate person you know rather than a carbon copy of someone from the TV – they are not real. You are.
- Be present. Time flies by in a blink. Taken in all that life is offering you now.
- Be patient with avocados they will ripen when ready.
- Take care of your body. You only have one vessel treat it well.
- Ask questions about others and about your surroundings.
- How you look is not an accomplishment. Don’t obsess over whether over absurd things like weight. No one will praise you for living your live as a well-maintained size one.
- Be active in the things that you want. Don’t expect your life to fall into place. Be active in aiming to achieve your goals. Live so that death has nothing to steal from you.
- Get a job. Doesn’t matter what it is or what people think of it. Send your cv out, join a recruitment agency, connect with people in the industry you wish to be in. Whether you need it or not a job will teach you valuable lessons like; the value of money, of hard work and the persistence of working together.
- Be grateful. Your life is full of endless possibilities and countless blessing – both big and small. Give thanks for the things you have it will turn them into enough.
- If you can afford to travel. Do it today. While you’re young and responsibility free explore all that the world has to offer. It will broaden your perspective; teach you humility and appreciation for all that you have. Do it. Do it now.
- Never fight over any form of social media – over text, email, snapchat, Instagram or Facebook. It’s hard to convey intentions and emotions over them and can often cause more damage than good. Plus, it will be there forever for all to see and judge. You’re human communicate face to face.
- It’s bound to messy. So is life. Stress less and seek purpose not pleasure. It’s better to fail at what you love than at something that you don’t. Pleasure is a short-term solution to a long term go. Purpose is the only real fulfillment.
- Have fun. Your twenty is your time to be selfish, to experiment to play to discover – utilize it. Revel and relish in your selfish years. They go by so quickly.
- Life is a marathon not a spirit – run wise.